Happy 69th birthday mama!
It’s been a while since I’ve written here on this blog, and today, I want to start back over. Mainly for part of my healing process, but today, I’m going to write directly to you, rather than the people reading this.
I started this blog, called Mama’s Update, back in 2012 when you went into the hospital with pneumonia as a way of keeping people up to date on your journey. One thing I remember once you were able to sit and read them is all of the concern on your face of how we were all feeling and rallying around you in your time of need. You didn’t know it at the time, but God was moving through my heart more than ever then. I was so scared. Scared of losing you, scared of my kids losing their Nana…and how in the world were we going to help dad?
In the time between 2012/2013 and early 2020…you never stopped showing us how to love one another. You always had the magnetic powers of keeping us all together.
Now, 17 months later, I look back over that time and can see that in those last several years, you were grooming us for these times. You reminded us daily of how special we were, how special our family bond truly was, how to lean into God and focus on having the faith to keep going and keep pushing, even when your physical presence isn’t here.
Surprisingly, we are all still moving and shaking. The grief has hit us all a little different. We have been able to not only continue putting one step in front of the other (sometimes we side step too), but we all still gather together and lean in to support one another.
Dad is doing good. I know he feels your presence in the house. He’s being well taken care of emotionally too…she is making him pretty happy. We missed his smile for a few months, but it’s back now and even though it’s weird for me to watch, you can see that she’s a good fit for him.
Cristi has been through the absolute ringer this year, but you know that because Phillip is with you. Man oh man how I wish I could have heard that conversation when he made his arrival to heaven. I’m sure you pleaded with God to heal him and send him back, but you and I both know that we cannot change Gods plans. I pray for her daily. She’s coming into another hard season of life with Trey moving to college. Can you believe it? It’s something we always got excited about…and now it’s happening. Sheesh and Morgan! Goodness gracious what a beautiful woman she is becoming. I’m excited to see her relationship with Cristi flourish though now that they will have time to themselves at home and the fact she’s going into high school and is a Starlette!
Kim - well…you know she’s always got to be making us concerned about her knees and such, but dang, her heart for Jesus has grown over the past couple years. Of course you know too about Don, because you were at his welcome party. Barry is trying to stay strong, but it’s good to see him break down some of those emotional walls. It’s so good for our emotional healing…grief is so weird. Bailey is heading to high school. Wow - time just flies! She’s still working on finding her place and is still absolutely loving making friends and being in band. Ben - he’s growing into a handsome young man. He’s smart as a whip, but he’s always been that way.
Karee and I still don’t talk a ton, but I know she misses your daily conversations. When we do chat, it’s aways a great conversation and we usually laugh through most of it - unless we’re talking about teaching. She’s such a great place for me to turn when I need help or advice for Joshua and his ADHD. She’s such an amazing mentor for me. Mark and the kids seem to keep her busy! The cabins are always being rented out, which is amazing! The kiddos just came back from camp and through the pictures look like they had an amazing time! I love that they get to have that time to spend with kids their age having fun and that Karee & Mark get some alone time!
As for us…I’m still doing my best to keep my promise to you of getting healthier. Dana has even jumped on board for a bit of it. It’s great to see him thinking about healthier options every now and again. He’s still working hard every day and makes sure that the kids and I are taken care of. My job is still one of the best things ever - I know you had a super hard time with me making that transition, but I know now that it was truly the best thing for me and my health journey. My side gig - coaching - is one of the most amazing things in my life right now. Can you believe that I got in an airplane and flew several states away with people I met on social media? It’s been such an amazing journey finding my faith again through fitness and health. It’s just amazing to me that I am able to do some of these things and help empower other women to do the same. I’m using all the things you ever taught me and I cannot thank you enough for that.
The kids are just - well - amazing! Lib is working now…as close to Broadway performing as you can get in a small town and not on a stage. She lights up the joy in each room she walks into being a character for their parties. Actually today she’s playing Anna from Frozen. Her passion for performing is so beautiful to watch as she transforms into her character.
Hailey is going into her last year of middle school and has grown into an amazing young woman so fast! She’s got her daddy and I on a head swivel because…boys. I keep trying to remind her that you can still put them in the closet if they screw up! 🤣
Joshua has had a couple of hard years in school. We got him diagnosed with ADHD and on some medication to help, but I worry it was a little too late, but we’re working on getting caught up. He’s a little behind in reading and writing, but LOVES math! As you know he can go anywhere and make a friend! He loves people and still thinks power rangers are real 😉.
Can you believe that Dana and I finally got out of debt!?! It’s kind of a miracle in it own right, but we’re finally building that bigger house you always wished for our family. It’s actually the floor plan of your favorite house that we decided on from all those times we would walk through models, just dreaming of the day. We are going to write some scriptures on the studs soon. The whole family and several close friends are all going to as well. My prayer for this home is that it will be filled with love, laughter, and joy…all remembering that without Jesus’ graciousness over the years, we would’t be where we are now.
The funniest part of all of the above, you already know all of this, but it helps me feel like I’m just catching you up. I miss you so much and hope that you’re having an amazing time in Heaven, preparing the list of places we should see when we end up arriving with you.
Happy Birthday mommy! You are missed tremendously.
❤️ - Candi
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